Validating hurt feelings in a relationship

Picture that little kid who tried so hard, meant no harm, and just wanted to be loved and cherished.

This will likely help in deflating your self-criticism and fill you a genuine sense of compassion for yourself.

If you’re also looking to increase your capacity for self-soothing so you can depend less on validation from others, you may find these ideas helpful: Of course, this assumes you already keep a gratitude journal to recognize and celebrate all the good things in your day.

If you don’t, you can still take a few minutes every day to give yourself some credit.

Once you’ve accepted your feelings, you’ll then be free to seek support for the actual problem—not your self-judgment about having to deal with it. Many of us didn’t receive the type of love, support, and kindness we needed growing up, and this may have taught us to treat ourselves harshly and critically.

When you’re looking for that warm, fuzzy feeling that emerges when someone you trust tells you, “Everything is going to be okay,” imagine yourself saying it to your younger self.

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When you regularly praise yourself, self-validation becomes a habit you can depend on when you need it the most.All I was looking for was for him to say that he was sorry for making me feel that way. I then made the mistake of hanging around for a few hours.When it got dark I asked him what he was doing and whether or not he wanted to hang out with me for the evening.Once again, this doesn’t need to be an alternative to seeking compassion from others; it just provides a secure foundation from which you’ll be better able to receive that.Oftentimes, when we’re feeling down on ourselves, we feel a (sometimes subconscious) desire to punish ourselves.Essentially, you’re looking for someone else to see the best in you and believe in you. If you’re in the habit of feeling bad about feeling down or insecure, or generally having emotional reactions to emotions, you will inevitably end up feeling stuck and helpless.

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